character overload. :|

Why are there so many characters in this book?  Okay, Bilbo the Hobbit has the book named after him, and Gandolf is The Wizard, so clearly they're memorable, but there are thirteen other useless names I'm supposed to find familiar later in the story.  Is this some kind of British memory skillbuilder for little kids reading the book at home?  Whatever the hell it is, it's too many, and none of them have died yet, so it doesn't seem to be a "strength in numbers" tactic.  So far, I remember that they're part of the Good Guy Crew when they say something goofy or poke fun at Bilbo.

Speaking of Bilbo, I totally have the mental imagery of a little baby pig whenever he speaks.  Hairy, slow, questionably useful -- Babe the Pig.  Bilbo is going to be this character, isn't he?  He's going to save the sheep somehow?

I also cannot keep up with the similar-sounding creature names.  Trolls.  AND.  Goblins. How can I tell them apart?  Dwarves AND elves?  Same problem.  Gimme some sugar, Tolkien, I'm an imaginative reader.  And Gollum?  What the hell is that thing?  A goblin-troll-elf?  Or just a slightly smaller goblin who has a problem swallowing and talking like a normal goblin? 

I need a character box-line diagram, stat.

Comments

[Anil Dash]

Yeah, you know what time it is. And it's not shiretime. You gotta drop this hot potato of a book and read anything else instead. Just sit through the 10 hours of films about these dozen folks (what, no paladins? No djinns? No obelisks?) and you'll more than have done your penance.

[David Jacobs]

There is so much to say, but I will wait until you're done. In the meantime, Anil's comment had me crying with joy and sadness at once.

But one thing about Bilbo, I think the rest of our peers have the animated Bilbo ( http://www.cedmagic.com/featured/tolkien/hobbit.jpg if you like) in their heads. I definitely do. The rest of the characters are here: http://www.cedmagic.com/featured/tolkien/hobbit.html but there are major spoilers on that page!

[David Jacobs]

"The pictures below show most of the characters of "The Hobbit" and are intended to loosely review the plot. If you plan to read the book, I recommend not even looking at these pictures beforehand. One of the great things about Tolkien is his ability to evoke images in your mind, which can be spoiled by having a pre-conceived notion of what the character looks like. Clicking on the pictures will bring up pages that provide additional information, like quotes from the book and links to pages concerning those characters in the upcoming live-action movies. The pictures may also be viewed in slide show fashion."

[Michael Sippey]

I'm with Anil. Go watch the movies, and then start your Star Trek blog.

[Anil Dash]

On the other hand, in the movie, one of the elfs looks like Orlando Bloom. Now, granted, the third movie is mad racist (spoilers!) but still worth a look. You could watch all of these movies and all of the Back to the Future movies in the time it takes to read the Sillimarillion thing, which I understand is the end notes to a thesis on fictitious hairy-footed humanoids.

[Ezra]

"I need a character box-line diagram, stat."

If only some intrepid Hobbitblogger could produce us such a diagram. Someone who was encountering the book afresh, with new enthusiasm...

[Steve Ivy]

Sigh. I suppose it has to do with when you read the Tolkien books. I read them first between the ages of 12 and 15, and many times since. They never fail to fill me with joy, and sadness, and hope, and nostalgia for a time that never was.

Hope you get into it, Natpo!

[rayners]

I'm with Steve. Though, for me, I think there are roughly three main characters in the book: Bilbo, Gandalf and The Dwarves (a hive mind of treasure hungry midgets).

[Steve Ivy]

It's not a character box diagram, but this may help: http://xkcd.com/657/

[David Jacobs]

Anil is literally a troll.

[Anil Dash]

At least I am not hiding behind my wife in my avatar!

(Avatar.)

[Nima]

Is Arwen still annoyingly teary in the book and does Frodo's naivite and stupid questions still make you want to punch him in the face?

[nataliepo]

Who is Arwen? Frodo is in the movie, right? These names are familiar but I haven't seen them yet...but there are plenty of characters that I want to punch in the face.

[David Jacobs]

@Nima those are characters from The Lord of the Rings, Natalie is reading The Hobbit.

[nataliepo]

Snobbit!

[Steve Ivy]

@Nima Arwen is not nearly as important a figure (I guess Liz what's-her-name needed more lines) in the books. Not sure about Frodo's questions, though.

[Xris Ernest Hall]

It's so hard to resist commenting on this post, but I'm afraid anything I say would be a spoiler, because I simply Know Too Much. It's great to see someone reading the Hobbit with so little context.

[nataliepo]

ARWEN IS A WOMAN? THERE IS A WOMAN IN THIS WORLD? GET OUT.

[Steve Ivy]

Wait til she meets Galadriel.

[Andy Wibbels]

I'm still miffed about the lack of a Gelatinous Cube.

[Ezra]

+1 Gelatinous cube.

[Matt Jacobs]

I'm with Anil and Sippey. Tolkien Shmolkien. Go with Back to the Future, skip the LOTR movies and watch the Die Hard Tetralogy.

[nataliepo]

please. one blog at a time. Back to the Future will have to wait until I'm no longer a Hobbist.

[finn]

Anil wrote "Yeah, you know what time it is. And it's not shiretime. You gotta drop this hot potato of a book and read anything else instead."

I'd probably avoid taking reading advice from someone who as recently as 2007 admitted to not having read any fiction in ten years.

[David Jacobs]

... and that's the story of how "Character overload" quickly became the meta-title of a comment thread as well.