fyi, i ruin the ending of this beloved book. - Hobbitted

03/05/2010

fyi, i ruin the ending of this beloved book.

This blog is chock FULL of spoilers, so in case there exists any other Hobbit-virgins in da house, I've changed the design to show oldest posts first. Page back if you really wanna see the ending, and hint: I DON'T LIKE IT.

Mar 5, 2010 2:02:50 PM

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Some ill shit is overdue in The Hobbit right about now. So, defying all odds and logic, the dragon conveniently left his pit of treasures. What the hell would you do if you just heard a witness' harrowing tale that this dangerous and huge creature aggressively seeks to devour your delicious ass? Would you fire up your little Dwarf-Droid and call your nearby pirate, bear-man, or lake peeps to rescue you from the danger they knew would happen? I mean, they let you stay at their place for free and drink all the mead that you want -- they must regard you as a brother, right? Well, if you're in this...

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THE END, PART ONE: Really? That's the dragon's fate? Awkward. And why are there bats, again? So by this time, I'm thinking that Dragon is about to come back and eat some dwarves like marshmellow peeps or torch some ponies or just get reallll mad and destructive. But, the thing is, THE DRAGON IS DEAD. See, back when the cute lil Bilbo flirted with the big lizard, he dropped some hefty hints that his crew came from Lake Town (aka Esgaroth). So the dragster flew away from the mountain, leaving the dwarves to play finder' keeprs' and chain-mail dress-up, and, without warning, torched the whole effing town. And, you know what? Lake Town had it coming....

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