nataliepo: I've Now Seen: The Avengers!

My boyfriend and I often disagree about dragging each other to see things. I admit that I'm a perpetual button-pusher, a semi-professional goader, and a more-than-full-time Troll of a girlfriend. "What is a partnership if we don't make each other do things?!", I plainly ask. Usually, it goes over just fine. But ever since I planned a group outing to see "John Carter" (in 3-D, no less), he's been working hard to out-do the worst of the worst. But, my rule stands: whatever he wants to see I'll see with him, and whatever I want to see, he'll see with me. (If something is egregiously offensive and disrespectful to the other, then, we'll cooperatively opt out. We do have a happy relationship, after all.)

Most recently, we've had some hits. I surprisingly enjoyed the hairpin of a plot in "The Cabin in the Woods". I downloaded the Body Language album the moment I got home from their concert at the Brooklyn Museum. (Enjoy "You Can" below!)

Sometimes I go to these outings solely to invest in the strength of our rule. Case in point: the Colin Stetson show at The Glasslands, whose circular breathing and sad-whale stories overwhelmed me with the feeling that I have aged.

See?

This brings me to The Avengers, which we saw on opening weekend. I really liked it! It was a fun superhero cocktail, all vying for the moviegoer's positions as The-Favorite. Although I'd seen Captain America (and liked it very much), my "favorite" award had not been decided going in, unlike other megafans. I hadn't seen Thor, any Hulk movies, Iron Man II, or known about the Avengers storyline in general.

I did spent most of the time waiting for the fight scenes to end so the characters could to talk to each other. I'd much prefer a superhero movie with literally no physical conflict. My ideal? A Hulk comedy, reflecting on the humanity of super-sized anger, using it to pay the bills in a quarry or something. An Iron Man political thriller, where his superbots serve as a mere plot element. Captain America aged, alone, living in Ditmas Park, watching Girls and trying to relate. Thor in anything at all whatsover with Kristen Wiig.

I didn't know that the guy with the bow and arrow was a superhero. I didn't even catch his name! He just seemed like the same guy he played in the last Mission Impossible movie. o_O

ScarJo was slammin! Her role was tough, she didn't have to be rescued, and she mostly fought alone. Failed the Bechdel test, but we all expected that. I liked her her modest jumpsuit, though it looked difficult to breathe in. I could not take my eyes off of her hair. After so many explosions, punches, kicks, and changes in altitude, it still looked the same. Surely, that is her superpower.

For the audience, was the movie all about the nostalgia, the fight's special effects, and Scarlett's butt? (See: "If the Male Avengers Posed Like the Female Avenger" below.)

source: http://twitpic.com/9i8dcn

It may well have been, but, clearly, I missed it. You know, the Hulk was not actually naked in mega-form. He still wore pants. There's no way those pants were that stretchy, and I have been privvy to the world's most stretchy pant material in my time. Get real, Hulky.

I took a risk with this movie and really did not expect to enjoy it, but, despite having no idea why people were fighting on an aircraft carrier in the sky (PS - WHY? So easy to shoot down. And such a big energy footprint! Come on.), I went along for the ride, and it was fun. I probably would not have seen this movie in theaters with friends, and I probably would not have enjoyed it alone. Conversely, he probably would have preferred to see The Avengers with his friends who had read the comics, studied the bloggy buzz and plot derivations and detailed misses from the original illustrator.

I'm sure our rule of partnership will be responsible for making me see many, many movies I've avoided on my own. Get ready for more "I've Now Seen" posts, even though, nowadays, as you may be able to tell, I'm a bit of a softie.

But, I heard this rumor that The Hobbit is coming out as a movie this year, so I've got to get all these kind words out of my system before I watch that ridiculous waste of a terrible children's story fuel the pure stream of shittalk on my personal blog. It's really a precursor to a whole separate meta-movie, where The Hobbit exists in its own micro-world, and me as The Bad Guy, scheming against The Hobbit's very existence, using the internet to turn the tide of hearts and minds against the goodness of that work. ("I'LL GET YOU, TOLKIEN!", etc.)