nataliepo

I've Now Seen: The Avengers!

My boyfriend and I often disagree about dragging each other to see things. I admit that I'm a perpetual button-pusher, a semi-professional goader, and a more-than-full-time Troll of a girlfriend. "What is a partnership if we don't make each other do things?!", I plainly ask.  Usually, it goes over just fine. But ever since I planned a group outing to see "John Carter" (in 3-D, no less), he's been working hard to out-do the worst of the worst.  But, my rule stands: whatever he wants to see I'll see with him, and whatever I want to see, he'll see with me.  (If something is egregiously offensive and disrespectful to the other, then, we'll cooperatively opt out.  We do have a happy relationship, after all.)

Most recently, we've had some hits.  I surprisingly enjoyed the hairpin of a plot in "The Cabin in the Woods".  I downloaded the Body Language album the moment I got home from their concert at the Brooklyn Museum.  (Enjoy "You Can" below!)

 

 

 

Sometimes I go to these outings solely to invest in the strength of our rule.  Case in point: the Colin Stetson show at The Glasslands, whose circular breathing and sad-whale stories overwhelmed me with the feeling that I have aged.

 

See?

This brings me to The Avengers, which we saw on opening weekend.  I really liked it! It was a fun superhero cocktail, all vying for the moviegoer's positions as The-Favorite.  Although I'd seen Captain America (and liked it very much), my "favorite" award had not been decided going in, unlike other megafans.  I hadn't seen Thor, any Hulk movies, Iron Man II, or known about the Avengers storyline in general.

I Saw Blade Runner!

After watching all the Star Wars last month (no blog posts! I enjoy my IRL friendships), I gravitate towards Harrison Ford pics much more than before.  Plus, Tracie rolled her eyes and nearly fainted with offense every time I mentioned my ignorance of this movie.  

And so I watched Blade Runner last night!   I should note that I haven't done any internet research about this movie since watching it, and I might have a follow-up post detailing what I've learned. 

First, I watched the movie with a fan that has seen multiple versions of the movie, so I might not be getting the full effect.  The version on Netflix has a Harrison Ford voiceover that gives background and character motivations (a little).  The movie didn't feel overly confusing -- it was clear that his mission was to kill four people that we think are robots because they respond to Q&A sessions in an ultra-emo way.  

Whatever version it was, I liked it!  I love the devolved Los Angeles as a character, like Crank foils it against its characters, amplifying crime and misery.  But the rain was kind of unbelievable.  Why didn't people wear boots all the time if it rained that much?  Future LA makes it possible for people to live with both an excessive police force and open shots on the street.  You know, in that scene where he kills lady-bot #1 with the clear jacket and the bra that doesn't fully close?  He just pulls out his gun in plain rainy-daylight, lets a few loose, and hardly anybody looks up.   80's-influenced future is so, so awesome, where ideas had a gritty, boxy-gray, dilapidated disco feel to them, but it still felt like the 80's.  So much multicultural influence.  All those floating things in the sky. Guns from the set of a crime series, where good cops are still crotchety and drink alone because they're big softies inside.   Videochatting.  Smoking inside. Flying cars with vertical doors -- boom.     

Unfortunately, I recognized the blond bad guy immediately, since I saw an animated gif on the internet months (years?) ago depicting his fate.

I liked the ethical implications in this movie.  Robots who seemed rational and compassionate could commit murders, and it was somebody's job to off them, and he wanted to get out of that business.  I liked watching the crimey underbelly of a second-place planet.  I liked the engineer who wasn't allowed to leave the planet who decided to take the most supreme albeit soggy apartment in LA and fill it with the creepiest clown-bots possible.

But, as happy as I was to learn that there were female replicants, I was disappointed to hear about the pleasurebot model.  I can only assume there were also males of this variety.  I've just seen many zombie/apocolyptic/space age books and movies made after that point that heightens the damsel-in-distress-of-inevitable-rape (28 Days Later, The Road -- seen/read those lately), and it just shuts the door to the possibility of female protagonists.  I can feel the influenced descendants of this movie, like the details of Minority Report's floating city, and the pre-programmed capabilities of people in Demolition Man, so I had hoped it would stray from this standard, but, hey, it's the 80's.  :/  But, hey, we got some good ideas from Rachel, right Janelle Monae?

 

The greatest thing about this movie was the amount of thoughtful detail that didn't detract from the storyline.  I feel like a lot of movies today focus on one innovative detail at a time so you don't miss anything, but it waters down the content and slows the pace. It was awesome to see flying cars, blimps, weird stoplights, people eating noodles outside, and a woman in a fur coat in the rain all within the span of a minute.  Oh, and the FASCINATORS!  So many hair-pieces in that club and I cannot find a single picture on the internet about it.  

Finally, friends, why is he called a Blade Runner?  I was thinking he would do some rollerblading or ice skating chase scenes.  Not hoping, mind you, just looking out for them.

But, yes, the real reason I wanted to see this movie is because Tiff Chow dressed up like one of the characters for Halloween. 
  
      

I wish I had jackets with Rachel's shoulders.  SO BOSS.

 

In Conclusion

It's pretty typical of me to blog about a movie's fashion, ethical plot, and lack of strong women, right?  This thing was a goldmine!

 

I've Now Seen: Avatar.

Avatar.  AVATAR AVATAR AVATAR. I watched this movie over the weekend, and, boy oh boy am I glad I waited months to see this movie because this thing was a HUGE letdown.

I know there was a ton of backlash about this movie and its obvious racism, so I will make the assumption that you already know the plot's underpinnings of the white (American) man attempting to gentrify then exterminate a race of native people in a beautiful, natural habitat of the future.  Stupid.  What you may not remember is how mundane the movie actually turned out to be.

People act drunk off of Avatar's special effects. I mean, have you never seen neon colors before?  Is this why people inexplicably love Ke$ha, too?  There a lot of comparisons to Fern Gully and Pocahontas, movies I've obviously not seen, but, yeah, I get it: shit glows, and some animals just happen to be bulletproof.  There was just a whole lot more happening in this movie than hits your 3-D specs.

First of all, what was up with the way that the Navi exerted dominance over animals?  They go on and on about this deep connection with nature and its animals... then find it perfectly okay to molest a pterydactyl despite its violent attempts to fight back -- THEN exert absolute dominance over it by connecting their blue fringey thingey with the bird's tubey thingey.  Sounds pretty rapey to me.

I HATED the way they portrayed the lead blue woman. She was an incredible warrior, great at everything, had a healthy bad-assed attitude, but wasn't chosen the leader despite being the single offspring of the town heads. Really? Oh, and that time she mated with the white dude?  Blue people lost their shit over that! "You MATED with him!?"  Really!  But the worst was the way she acted when she angry.  She literally screamed like a banshee, acted super spastic, and morphed into an irrational character she had never been before.  REALLY?  REALLY.  

They overdid it with the spirituality.  I don't remember reading about that in the reviews, nor any friends talking about it afterward because it was pretty damn ignorant.  They made it look like if it weren't for the white-blue man to unite the different groups, the blue people would just pray to their glitter trees until the military folk blew them all away.  

Equally insensitive was their portrayal of military personnel. Honestly, I actively opt-out of watching military-related movies because I'm sensitive to that culture and its lifestyle, and hate when it's glorified or unrealistic.  So when Avatar treats people in cami's as dumb jarheads without emotion or a rational thought process, I can't stop rolling my eyes.  The military is made of real people, not soulless monsters.

There was one good character in this entire movie, and it was, clearly...

I've Now Seen "Star Trek"

I'd never seen any of the Star Trek series before I saw this movie.  All I really knew about the series was that it took place in the future, people could be beamed up by Scotty, and some of them gave V-shaped high fives.  And I knew that Zachary Quinto had a major role in the movie, since I'm a member of his ZQ-mmunity.  I will admit, though, that I knew a little about Leonard Nimoy when I IMDB'd him as background for my Hobbitted post.  In terms of spacey movies, I've seen Star Wars (the original three) and Event Horizon, and truthfully, I have a fear of spaceships because of EH.  *shudders*

But I really liked this movie!  It's pretty rare that I emotionally get into a sci-fi movie because I have a hard time swallowing the absurdity of it all.  I think the light flashes every 4 seconds trained me like an animal to submit to the setting.  Here's what I remember as notable:
 

1. The Ship

When we meet Kirk, Sr's wife in the beginning of the movie, my wind wandered at the possibility for civilian life in outer space because, dude, that ship was amazing. I found myself wondering if their living quarters were bigger than my Brooklyn apartment? It probably has a nicer shower, fewer bugs.  But I've been on a Navy submarine before and can vouch for the laughable level of fantasy that this movie brings towards the future.  Subs are TINY.  Space in those vessels comes at a premium so much that hallways can only fit the width of two people who have to tilt "ut to ut" which are all of the permutations of "nut" or "butt" -- official Navy terminology, I think, since women haven't been allowed to serve on subs until the policy change this year.  But the Enterprise was the bomb.  Changed my mind about that whole 'to hell and back' fear from Event Horizon, which is a silly earthling fear if you really think about it.

2. SPACE

OMG.  How MIND BLOWING is it to watch space footage?!?  In the ridiculous scene where they decided to hide behind one of Saturn's rings, I found myself thinking "OMG. THAT'S SATURN!" and all of the existential talks that parents must have had with their kids after the movie to explain that we can't actually film movies in space. I'd be okay with a fake series similar to Planet Earth with all the other galaxies that the Star Trek crew has been.

I love how they made Iowa the centerpiece for Americana.  Of all the places in the universe that the starfleet people COULD train, they chose Iowa. 

3. Depiction of Military Personnel

I liked how they highlighted the presence of women and the unique personalities of service people in general.  It was better than the traditional whitewashing of men in uniform.  I also liked that they showed that they dated amongst themselves but still ran a tight ship.  It contradicts the dumb military rule that women ruin everything in the workplace.  The fast-talking doctor earned an A in my book for his New Yorker sense of urgency and humor.

What I didn't like, though, is that Captain Kirk is the hero who has obviously American "Maverick" traits. Whistling at every woman who walks by, stealing and wrecking a '66 Corvette in the opening scene, picking fights in bars -- this ain't no modern hero. 

4. Zachary Quinto's Eyebrows

I don't remember a word that he said.

So, now that I've seen it, is it worth seeing the old series?  Tracie said the effects are cheesy but the interpersonal relationships, especially the tension between Kirk and Spock, are still pretty good.

I've Now Seen "Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark"

You know how many movies I have not seen?  A lot of them. MOST of them, actually. 

Yesterday, I watched Indiana Jones for the first time.  And it was intense.  The action scenes never stopped, the leading lady was badassed, and Harrison Ford as the attractive, educated, pinnacle of American manhood gets two thumbs up from this gal. 

I knew that this was an adventure movie, and that Indiana Jones carried whips, and that there were sequels so he wouldn't die unexpectedly, but other than that, I didn't really know the premise.  That being said, I loved the opening scene the most.  Spiders? Booby traps? Rope swings? Shiny monkey thing? Yes, please. A sense of purpose or direction? Not necessary. Proceed with the awesome.

The ending was JUST PLAIN SILLY.  To avoid the wrath of gods of yore, you just have to close your eyes.

Could you guess which scene was my favorite? I had no idea there were so many women in higher education in the 30's...

Would I watch this again?  Yes. And Harrison Ford is invited to join me.